This week we were to listen to
conversations around us and notice any microaggressions within those
conversations. I happen to be on vacation at this time at a cottage on a lake
(aww-poor me, right?) and so there are not many people to listen to other than
my children and there was no sign of microaggression in our conversations. To
obtain internet I need to go to the local Dunkin’ Donuts shop which is run by a
South Asian family and I listened intently there but did not hear anything out
of the ordinary but, “I’ll take a Boston Cream donut and a small coffee.”
However, in the background of this donut shop is the 24-hour news station
playing on the television in the back ground and all I hear is microaggression
happening all over this country and it concerns me. First there is the big news
story of keeping transgender people out of the military. It is said to be based
on health costs but I wonder as a person’s sexuality has always been an issue
where the armed forces are concerned. The story of OJ Simpson’s parole was
talked about. Would as much time and energy to put a black man in jail have been
the same result if that same man had been white? The case of Robert Blake (a white man whose
wife had been shot) makes me wonder. I am not saying either is guilty or
innocent but both cases of murder do not seem to have been handled equally. Also,
there are the many cases of immigrants being deported while having to leave
their families (and children) behind. How heart breaking! I know there are many
“reasons” for these examples to happen but, to me, it still boils down to
microaggression.
I do have a couple of instances
which stick out in my mind from the past. When I was young, maybe seven or
eight, my mother was driving us through Albany, NY which is where I live. My
grandmother, a very small-town woman, was in the car with us (it was during the
summer) and she told us we needed to roll up the windows and lock our doors
because “black people get bored in the summer and will tip cars over.” I
remember thinking, even at this young age, “that has got to be the stupidest
thing I have ever heard!” I think it was then I decided to work very hard to
undo any biases I may have and I still continue to do so. Another statement I
heard when my first son was just a baby was made by his grandfather who was
driving us around the city they had moved to. There were some buildings with
broken and boarded up windows and the grandfather said, “n----s probably shot
them out.” I was outraged and, though he was not my father, yelled at him
saying that was an awful and untruthful thing to say and to never talk like
that again in front of my children or me. I was so angry! At this point I
decided to raise my children to look at the good in people and see their
differences as strengths and not something to judge. I hear things within my
work place all the time about the different cultures and families we serve and
many times they are negative. Often times boys from other countries like to
dress in bright colors which often times are girl clothes from this country and
my coworkers will make fun of them. I like to ask these coworkers who made the
rule that boys could only wear blue? I have many refugees from Burma in my
classroom and sometimes the girls wear a type of make-up and lipstick even
though they are three, again getting giggles and comments from coworkers. I
looked up why they often wore this make-up and found that in Myanmar the sun is
very hot and so this make-up protects their skin and is made from ingredients
which are healthy for the skin. Once again, I presented this to my coworkers to
stop the teasing. To hear other’s culture and diversity belittled and joked
about hurts my heart and makes me sad/angry. I know this is a pretty long post
but this is where my passion lays and who I wish to advocate for. Yet I need to
remember, those who are ignorant of microaggression are people too who need to
be respected and educated and not have me being microaggressive against them.
