Practicing Awareness of Microaggessions

This week we were to listen to conversations around us and notice any microaggressions within those conversations. I happen to be on vacation at this time at a cottage on a lake (aww-poor me, right?) and so there are not many people to listen to other than my children and there was no sign of microaggression in our conversations. To obtain internet I need to go to the local Dunkin’ Donuts shop which is run by a South Asian family and I listened intently there but did not hear anything out of the ordinary but, “I’ll take a Boston Cream donut and a small coffee.” However, in the background of this donut shop is the 24-hour news station playing on the television in the back ground and all I hear is microaggression happening all over this country and it concerns me. First there is the big news story of keeping transgender people out of the military. It is said to be based on health costs but I wonder as a person’s sexuality has always been an issue where the armed forces are concerned. The story of OJ Simpson’s parole was talked about. Would as much time and energy to put a black man in jail have been the same result if that same man had been white?  The case of Robert Blake (a white man whose wife had been shot) makes me wonder. I am not saying either is guilty or innocent but both cases of murder do not seem to have been handled equally. Also, there are the many cases of immigrants being deported while having to leave their families (and children) behind. How heart breaking! I know there are many “reasons” for these examples to happen but, to me, it still boils down to microaggression.

I do have a couple of instances which stick out in my mind from the past. When I was young, maybe seven or eight, my mother was driving us through Albany, NY which is where I live. My grandmother, a very small-town woman, was in the car with us (it was during the summer) and she told us we needed to roll up the windows and lock our doors because “black people get bored in the summer and will tip cars over.” I remember thinking, even at this young age, “that has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard!” I think it was then I decided to work very hard to undo any biases I may have and I still continue to do so. Another statement I heard when my first son was just a baby was made by his grandfather who was driving us around the city they had moved to. There were some buildings with broken and boarded up windows and the grandfather said, “n----s probably shot them out.” I was outraged and, though he was not my father, yelled at him saying that was an awful and untruthful thing to say and to never talk like that again in front of my children or me. I was so angry! At this point I decided to raise my children to look at the good in people and see their differences as strengths and not something to judge. I hear things within my work place all the time about the different cultures and families we serve and many times they are negative. Often times boys from other countries like to dress in bright colors which often times are girl clothes from this country and my coworkers will make fun of them. I like to ask these coworkers who made the rule that boys could only wear blue? I have many refugees from Burma in my classroom and sometimes the girls wear a type of make-up and lipstick even though they are three, again getting giggles and comments from coworkers. I looked up why they often wore this make-up and found that in Myanmar the sun is very hot and so this make-up protects their skin and is made from ingredients which are healthy for the skin. Once again, I presented this to my coworkers to stop the teasing. To hear other’s culture and diversity belittled and joked about hurts my heart and makes me sad/angry. I know this is a pretty long post but this is where my passion lays and who I wish to advocate for. Yet I need to remember, those who are ignorant of microaggression are people too who need to be respected and educated and not have me being microaggressive against them.