Not Good-bye But See You Later

Thank you all for all you have supported me with and helped me learn. I am a better communicator and listener because of all of you. I know some of you I will see again in my next class and I am excited about that. For those who may go on in other directions, I wish you all the best. Like I said--see you later!

Saying Good-Bye

     There are three types of groups I would like to address for this blog, beginning with the online groups I have been involved with during my time obtaining my BA. After the work was done we would still be in class together but more as fellow students and not team members. We would usual end the group experience with praise for all our hard work as a team and being there as that team to get the job done. Also, once the grade was received we would try to discuss our strengths and weaknesses throughout the project. At the end of each online course I also would say good-bye and wish all my fellow students success in their upcoming classes, after all, we had all been together for eight weeks even if it was online.

Another group is my teaching team who I separate from each summer. We have a company picnic with all the staff of  county's Head Start where we eat, play games, dance, and just be lazy for the afternoon. My site's staff sit around and laugh about all the funny events of the year and things some of the kids say. Working for Head Start can be stressful and difficult so this is a great way to say good-bye until next fall.

Finally I belong to a group of women who have vowed themselves to prayer, service, and evangelism. We too, end our time together for the summer though we do not stop our prayers or service, we just do it more on our own. We end the year with a social gathering to just be together with no really worries so we may send each other off to rest and rejuvenate for the next season. It works well for us and though we still see each other in church it is not as a group.

   

Nonviloent Communication and Conflict Management

     I really have not had any disagreements lately so this is a difficult blog to write this week. I am pretty lucky in this manner. However, we are in the middle of a personal family conflict which involves my daughter, the father of her twins, and his family, it is pretty ugly. However, my daughter and I have decided to handle things in many of the ways we have learned about this week. For instance, we are taking the balcony approach as mentioned in the 3R's. By going into the balcony and looking at the story we can make rational choices and not be clouded by the anger, hurt, and betrayal this situation can bring out.  

 

     We are also striving for a productive conflict; a conflict which is managed productively (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven,  2015, pg. 215). The conflict we are in is huge and will involve courts and possible legal action but we are trying very hard to make calm and rational decisions in all the steps we make. We do not want to put division between the two families any more than we have to for the babies' sakes. This tactic is working for the moment. 

 

     Finally, I am a Christian and so my faith is very important in this huge, seemingly impossible situation. I am praying throughout this whole event and trusting that God will get us through it, BUT, I must be aware of how He would want me to handle each step of this process. I also must trust my daughter's insights of what she wants for the girls and the outcome of this very complicated situation.

Reference

 O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Who Am I As A Communicator

     This was a fun activity this week to compare my thoughts of my communication skills to those of co-worker and family member. The comparison which most surprised me was the difference in the scores of my communication anxiety inventory. My score was a 78 while the thoughts of my two other comparisons were 42 and 41. I am a nervous wreck when I communicate while, apparently, others see me pretty together and on point. Hmmm?

     I think my biggest lesson is I am not presenting myself to others as I am feeling inside. We need to place careful consideration in what we say and how we listen because not everyone "hears" in the same way.

     The two inventories I would like to share are the listening and aggressive scales. My scores for listening were 63 (mine), 68, and 67. This did not really surprise me because I tend to be sarcastic far more often than I like. I do not mean to be but I am. I remembering as a child saying to my mother, "I say things before my brain thinks them up." This is still a running joke today. It is not something I am proud of in the least. Professionally it is not okay and I must guard my thoughts and mouth extremely closely so as not to offend or hurt people in any way. Most times I use it for humor but my funny is not another's funny. Personally, my family is used to my "mouth" but again, it can be hurtful and mean.
     The listening inventory resulted in a 35 (mine),  35, and 24. I work very hard in this area as well and try to "hear" what others are saying to me. Professionally this works well because I can "hear what families and coworkers are trying to tell me without trying to convince them of my point of view. Personally, I am available to those who may need a listening ear to just vent or receive a new insight.

     I am still a work in progress and this is a step in the right direction.