This was a fun activity this week to compare my thoughts of my communication skills to those of co-worker and family member. The comparison which most surprised me was the difference in the scores of my communication anxiety inventory. My score was a 78 while the thoughts of my two other comparisons were 42 and 41. I am a nervous wreck when I communicate while, apparently, others see me pretty together and on point. Hmmm?
I think my biggest lesson is I am not presenting myself to others as I am feeling inside. We need to place careful consideration in what we say and how we listen because not everyone "hears" in the same way.
The two inventories I would like to share are the listening and aggressive scales. My scores for listening were 63 (mine), 68, and 67. This did not really surprise me because I tend to be sarcastic far more often than I like. I do not mean to be but I am. I remembering as a child saying to my mother, "I say things before my brain thinks them up." This is still a running joke today. It is not something I am proud of in the least. Professionally it is not okay and I must guard my thoughts and mouth extremely closely so as not to offend or hurt people in any way. Most times I use it for humor but my funny is not another's funny. Personally, my family is used to my "mouth" but again, it can be hurtful and mean.
The listening inventory resulted in a 35 (mine), 35, and 24. I work very hard in this area as well and try to "hear" what others are saying to me. Professionally this works well because I can "hear what families and coworkers are trying to tell me without trying to convince them of my point of view. Personally, I am available to those who may need a listening ear to just vent or receive a new insight.
I am still a work in progress and this is a step in the right direction.
Jennifer, My thoughts exactly. When I do any public speaking I'm super nervous but my husband and co-worker. seem to think different. In fact my co-worker happens to be there when I give parent meetings and she says you never look nervous. Funny how we perceive ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this activity as well. I believe that when a lot of us do public speaking we feel nervous, but others sometimes do not see that side, because we can deliver our thoughts out well without notice at times. It just funny how others perceive us.
ReplyDeleteJennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am happy that you got to see that you are not the hot mess you thought you were! It still surprises me how it is natural for some to be speakers and it is dreaded for others. Now you know the strengths others see in you. Maybe you can start exploring them and see what happens.